Kamis, 31 Oktober 2013

[C352.Ebook] Download Ebook Grief and Loss: Theories and Skills for the Helping Professions (2nd Edition), by Katherine Walsh

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Grief and Loss: Theories and Skills for the Helping Professions (2nd Edition), by Katherine Walsh

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Grief and Loss: Theories and Skills for the Helping Professions (2nd Edition), by Katherine Walsh

Provides a variety of case examples applying theory to practice when working with those dealing with grief and loss.

Grief and Loss: Theories and Skills for the Helping Professions, 2/e, allows readers to see how essential theories and skills will enhance their own practice. They will gain the core knowledge and skills needed to work with individuals, families, groups, and communities who are experiencing loss and the grief that accompanies it

Culture, spirituality, age, gender and other factors that influence grief reactions are discussed, helping readers understand and work with diverse populations. Individual and programmatic responses to grieving people are also included.�Each chapter contains exercises that encourage readers to apply the concepts learned and MySocialWorkLab includes a variety of Internet resources and supplemental learning tools.

Learning Goals

Upon completing this book, readers should be able to:�

  • Acquire core knowledge and skills that will prepare readers to work with individuals, families, groups, and communities who are experiencing loss and the grief that accompanies it
  • Understand normal and complicated grief reactions
  • Identify actual as well as symbolic losses
  • Recognize the factors the positively and negatively influence grief reactions
  • Understand the resources and interventions that are effective in helping those who are grieving

Note: MySocialWorkLab does not come automatically packaged with this text. To purchase MySocialWorkLab, please visit: www.mysocialworklab.com or you can purchase a valuepack of the text + MySocialWorkLab (at no additional cost). VP: 0205206816

  • Sales Rank: #91914 in Books
  • Brand: Brand: Pearson
  • Published on: 2011-10-16
  • Original language: English
  • Number of items: 1
  • Dimensions: 8.80" h x .60" w x 5.90" l, .44 pounds
  • Binding: Paperback
  • 192 pages
Features
  • Used Book in Good Condition

About the Author
Katherine Walsh has been teaching social workers and other helping professionals while maintaining her own grief work practice for 30 years. A past president of the Association of Oncology Social Work, Director of Psychosocial Services for Hospice, a Clinical Supervisor and tenured Professor of Social Work, Dr. Walsh has won numerous service and leadership awards, authored many book chapters and peer reviewed journal articles and led international exchange programs in End of Life Care in China, Cambodia and Hungary for the National Association of Social Workers. Her own practice and collaborative relationships with students and colleagues have produced a wealth of case examples from a wide variety of settings including schools, hospitals, correctional facilities and foster care agencies as well as traditional social service and mental health settings.

Most helpful customer reviews

2 of 2 people found the following review helpful.
Standard fare
By rev.ian.m
I will admit I am giving it only three stars for two reasons. The first, is it is not worth paying the retail price for the little information contained. Second, I downloaded the Kindle version which was basically a PDF of the book. The content is okay, basic standard fare.

1 of 1 people found the following review helpful.
very helpful
By bibliophile mom
I am a chaplain who leads grief groups. I found this book easy to read and especially liked how it talked about grief related to all kinds of loss- not just death. The author recognized that many professions have to deal with grieving clients- even if they are not typically considered "helping professions". This book can be helpful to lawyers, judges, and teachers as well as healthcare professionals.

1 of 1 people found the following review helpful.
A great "nuts and bolts" handbook for helping people through grief
By Hrslvr18
Katherine Walsh is exacting in her description and explanation about the different types of loss that people experience. It is a great primer for this topic, offering in-depth descriptions of the difference between loss through death and "symbolic" loss, bereavement and grief counseling, etc. She provides interesting case studies to illustrate throughout and valuable coping strategies.

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Rabu, 30 Oktober 2013

[Q753.Ebook] Get Free Ebook Bourgeois Dignity: Why Economics Can't Explain the Modern World, by Deirdre N. McCloskey

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Bourgeois Dignity: Why Economics Can't Explain the Modern World, by Deirdre N. McCloskey

The big economic story of our times is not the Great Recession. It is how China and India began to embrace neoliberal ideas of economics and attributed a sense of dignity and liberty to the bourgeoisie they had denied for so long. The result was an explosion in economic growth and proof that economic change depends less on foreign trade, investment, or material causes, and a whole lot more on ideas and what people believe.

Or so says Deirdre N. McCloskey in Bourgeois Dignity, a fiercely contrarian history that wages a similar argument about economics in the West. Here she turns her attention to seventeenth- and eighteenth-century Europe to reconsider the birth of the industrial revolution and the rise of capitalism. According to McCloskey, our modern world was not the product of new markets and innovations, but rather the result of shifting opinions about them. During this time, talk of private property, commerce, and even the bourgeoisie itself radically altered, becoming far more approving and flying in the face of prejudices several millennia old. The wealth of nations, then, didn’t grow so dramatically because of economic factors: it grew because rhetoric about markets and free enterprise finally became enthusiastic and encouraging of their inherent dignity.

An utterly fascinating sequel to her critically acclaimed book The Bourgeois Virtues, Bourgeois Dignity is a feast of intellectual riches from one of our most spirited and ambitious historians—a work that will forever change our understanding of how the power of persuasion shapes our economic lives.

  • Sales Rank: #578299 in Books
  • Published on: 2010-11-30
  • Original language: English
  • Number of items: 1
  • Dimensions: 9.00" h x 1.70" w x 6.00" l, 2.04 pounds
  • Binding: Hardcover
  • 592 pages

Review
“The startling perspective McCloskey brings to the history of economics qualifies her as the Max Weber of our times. This is a wonderfully entertaining and stimulating antidote for the reigning view of Homo Economicus.”

(Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi)

“Over a wide range of nations and times, McCloskey advances the arresting thesis that humble ideas, especially those pertaining to the role of a bourgeois dignity, supply the spark that jumpstarts the rest of the process. Readers will be impressed with the breadth of her knowledge, the clarity of her thought, and the sophistication of this finely wrought book.” (Richard Epstein)

“Deirdre McCloskey has embarked on a heroic enterprise, the wholesale reconsideration of the modern capitalist economy. The author’s lightness of touch is deeply admirable: competing hypotheses from the Protestant Ethic to technological determinism are rounded up and dispatched in a wonderfully invigorating fashion, and not the least of the many virtues of Bourgeois Dignity is the demonstration that serious argument can also be fun.” (Alan Ryan)

About the Author
Deirdre N. McCloskey is Distinguished Professor of Economics, History, English, and Communication at the University of Illinois at Chicago. Among her many books are The Bourgeois Virtues: Ethics for an Age of Commerce; Crossing: A Memoir; The Secret Sins of Economics; and If You’re So Smart: The Narrative of Economic Expertise, all published by the University of Chicago Press.

Most helpful customer reviews

25 of 26 people found the following review helpful.
Why are we now rich? Explaining the GREAT FACT!
By B Leyden
We in the Western World tend to take our present day wealth for granted, very much like an entitlement. And McCloskey makes clear just how very rich in real terms we are relative to most human kinds history. We don't stop to ask the logical follow-up question: Why are other societies - such as in Africa and South America - still so poor?

McCloskey's answer is that it is simple: (1)Give the "bourgeoisie" respect; and (2)give these same bourgeosie freedom. It is, according to this very mainline economic historian, THAT simple. It is the path that countries such as South Korea and China have successfully followed to achieve the same wealth and prosperity in little more than a generation.

McCloskey considers - and discards - alternative explanations for what economic historians describe as "The Great Fact." Explantions such as "colonial exploitation," Max Weber's Protestant work ethic, and the "Guns, Germs and Steel" advantage that European nations had over the rest of the world.

On the surface - and before you read her book - you might have concluded that the author was some kind of right-wing apologist. Nothing could be farther from the truth! As McCloskey makes clear, she started off her university and economic career from a Marxist orientation. She makes clear that her political inclinations are still mainly to the "left." In other words, the facts as she discovered them forced the conclusion.

McCloskey is a very literate - and cultured - thinker. This in my opinion is a very, very important book that deserves every intellectually inclined persons attention.

32 of 36 people found the following review helpful.
Great Ideas, Unpleasant to Read
By Amazon Customer
McCloskey's primary idea in this book is that the explosion in wealth creation that started somewhere around 1800 is due to a changing attitude towards making money; it became cool ("dignified") to make money instead of vulgar, unclean, unholy, etc. She argues this forcefully and completely enough that it seems plausible that she's right and I found it convincing that the change in attitude was at least a factor in the extraordinary explosion of innovation and wealth.

While the ideas and content are excellent, I found the writing painful to read. It could've been written in one-third as many pages without skipping any content whatsoever. After a few hundred pages, it was hard to not start skimming.

I'd love for these ideas to be read by as many people as possible, but I wouldn't want to put anybody through the pain of reading this book. If you have a lot of time and want to read an interesting perspective on economic history, then I recommend buying and at least skimming this book. Otherwise, I'd skip it.

118 of 153 people found the following review helpful.
Thought-Provoking But Not Successful
By P. Graham
Foremost, Bourgeois Dignity is to be recommended because it offers an abundance of economic insights. Professor McCloskey deserves the highest praise for emphasizing the hugely important, predominant role of ideology and innovation in the unprecedented improvement in the standard of living since the close of eighteenth century.

Ultimately, however, Bourgeois Dignity fails to prove that what McCloskey terms "bourgeois dignity and liberty" are, to the virtual exclusion of every other factor, responsible for this economic revolution.

One problem is semantics. It seems that, in "bourgeois dignity and liberty", McCloskey means an ideology that promotes and rewards (materially and psychically) commerce and innovation. Fair enough, but McCloskey's choice of the word "dignity" is highly problematic.

In one historical meaning, in the sense of "being dignified", having dignity meant being worthy of honor, being illustrious, being highly esteemed. One was endowed with dignity by doing or accomplishing something honorable or illustrious or esteemed. In this sense, not everyone was inherently endowed with dignity: it had to be earned, and it could be forfeited. In this historical sense, McCloskey's use of the term "dignity" is not objectionable, and is faithful to the substance of the argument. For example, McCloskey writes of the "bourgeois revaluation" in Holland that started it all: "It became honorable - `Honorable', the aristocrat snorts! - to invent a machine for making screws or to venture in trade to Cathay." (p. 11)

However, in its modern usage, in the sense of the U.N.'s declaration that "all human beings are born...equal in dignity," in the sense of Geneva's declaration that "outrages upon personal dignity" are war crimes, the term "dignity" has arrived at a comprehensively different meaning. No matter what his or her political persuasion, no sane person could argue that is a war crime to deprive a Khalid Sheikh Mohammed of "high esteem and honors." Unfortunately, McCloskey seems to be using the word to mean something closer to its bastardized modern sense, when, for example, writing,

"Dignity encourages faith. You are dignified in standing, in being who you most truly are, and have been. A Chicagoan. A scholar. A woman." (p. 10)

If this is how we are to understand McCloskey's "bourgeois dignity", then the book's entire argument is utter rubbish. The Industrial Revolution did not begin because a bunch of eighteenth century Dutchmen started "being who they most truly were, and had been." And, as noted, this does not even appear to be what McCloskey is arguing, no matter how the term is being defined. Either way, McCloskey deserves criticism for selecting a word that is fraught with so much potential for intellectual mischief.

Moving on, the failure of the book's thesis seems almost inevitable in McCloskey's approach, which is to argue that every other proposed factor had no material role in the economic revolution, and merely by that process of elimination, anoint "bourgeois dignity and liberty" as its sole cause.

In the process of doing this, McCloskey deserves credit for clearing away a lot of silliness about the roles of imperialism, expropriation, exploitation, genetics, religion, mineral endowments, and the like (silliness that, unfortunately, seems eternally trapped within the thick skulls of academics, journalists, politicians, most Europeans, and many Latin Americans).

However, the book's arguments become much more difficult to accept when McCloskey addresses trade, incentives, institutions, and, especially, science and technology. In all of these cases, McCloskey relies heavily, if not exclusively, on this one form of an argument: "X factor" existed somewhere in the world prior to 1700 or 1800, and since it didn't cause a revolution in the standard of living there and then, it could not have caused the revolution in the standard of living since 1700 or 1800. As we will see, the only (serious) factor to which McCloskey does not apply this standard is "bourgeois dignity and liberty."

In the case of science and technology, the weaknesses in McCloskey's argument are manifold. For some reason, McCloskey spends a lot of time reviewing examples of late European scientific or technological discoveries that were allegedly "anticipated" by centuries or millennia in other cultures - mostly, the Chinese. So, we read that the Chinese invented "soil science or ecology" and the curved-moldboard in 500 b.c., the compass in 400 b.c., cardboard in 200 b.c., that they drilled for natural gas (for whatever purpose), invented the crank handle, and knew about the circulation of blood a millennia or more before the Europeans, and so forth. We read that the Koreans invented movable type two centuries before the Europeans. It is not clear what any of this proves beyond the Professor's solid anti-Eurocentric credentials.

If the point is that a listing of miscellaneous scientific or technological discoveries of the Chinese and Koreans (and Africans and Arabs) spanning several earlier millennia in time is comparable in impact to the revolutionary discoveries surrounding scientific methodology, energy and metallurgy - just to name the most prominent -- during the first two centuries of the Scientific Revolution in Europe, then it is a frivolous argument.

Further, McCloskey writes that

of course one problem that has to be faced by advocates of science as a cause, and to some degree even by the advocates of the Enlightenment as a cause, is that Chinese, and at one point Islamic, science and technology, separately and together, and their humanistic scholarship, were until very lately superior to Western science and enlightenment in most ways, and yet resulted in no industrial revolution (p. 358)

No, Professor McCloskey, this is not a problem that has to be faced by advocates of science because it is beside the point. The issue is not about the relative level of science and technology among different societies at one time or another, but whether the absolute level of scientific and technological knowledge reached by any society was enough to facilitate the accomplishments of the Industrial Revolution and later (and which societies reached that level and when they reached it). "Advocates of science as a cause" would "of course" face the problem McCloskey poses only if the Chinese or Ottomans in, say, 1500 were more advanced scientifically and technologically than the Europeans in 1800, but nobody would argue that point.

Recognizing the sheer implausibility of arguing that our modern standard of living owes nothing to science and technology, McCloskey develops the argument that the "first Industrial Revolution and its nineteenth century denouement...depended hardly at all on science" (p. 360) and that the economic growth from this first Industrial Revolution caused the science and technology to which we obviously owe our modern standard of living. There is something to the fact that greater and greater wealth leads to greater and greater scientific and technological accomplishments. But McCloskey's argument implies that, in the opening stage of things, steam power and advancing techniques of iron and steel production "depended hardly at all on science." This, in turn, implies a surprisingly narrow or theoretical-only definition of "science" when "science", in the earlier "superior" examples of it in China and Korea, included the curved moldboard, cardboard, the crank handle, movable type and so on.

To sum up the point, McCloskey boldly asserts that "a world without modern electrical, electronic, chemical, agronomical, aeronautical, or for that matter economic science, would be poorer, of course, but still it would be very much richer than the world of 1800 - so long as the Bourgeois Revaluation had taken place." (One presumes that McCloskey's omission of modern medical science was oversight). Very much richer? I very much doubt that. To me, it is simply not serious to argue that we could have escaped the Malthusian trap without "modern electrical, electronic, chemical, agronomical, aeronatical" medical, and all of the other branches of modern science and technology. It would seem that we would have had recourse to very little beyond the shuffling and reshuffling and the "accumulate, accumulate, accumulate" of classical economics that McCloskey properly consigns to insignificance in the scope of our actual long-term economic development.

Finally, McCloskey does make an important (Austrian) insight that it is not scientific discoveries, per se, that generate economic growth but successful commercial applications of scientific discoveries. But this is not the same thing as arguing that scientific discoveries had little or nothing to with the resulting economic growth. Fundamental scientific discoveries without the entrepreneurial or innovative talent to figure out how and where to apply them will not do much for a society's general economic welfare; by the same token, opportunities for entrepreneurs and innovators are, it seems undeniable, circumscribed by the state of fundamental scientific (and technological and mechanical) knowledge.

No matter how entrepreneurial or innovative or commercial a society might be, it obviously would not and could not generate modern levels of economic growth and standards of living without access to the scientific and technological discoveries that closely preceded and have continuously accompanied the modern period of economic growth.

The proof of this, and the point that definitively undermines McCloskey's argument, is that Holland in the eighteenth century was not the first society of "bourgeois dignity and liberty." Not nearly so. Remember McCloskey's standard applicable to other factors: if "bourgeois dignity and liberty" existed somewhere in the world prior to 1700 or 1800, and it didn't cause a revolution in the standard of living there and then, it could not have alone caused the revolution in the standard of living since 1700 or 1800.

McCloskey strikingly concedes this point in writing that

An ethical and rhetorical change in favor of such formerly dishonorable activities of the bourgeoisie - innovating a fulling mill for woolens or innovating a bank for paying florins in England easily -- happened after 1300 in isolated parts of the European South (Florence, Venice, Barcelona), as in many other scattered locales in the world and in many other eras, and after 1400 or so in other towns of the south (such as Lisbon) and the Hansa towns of the north, and after 1600 in larger chunks of the north (Holland), and after 1700 in England, Scotland, and British North America, and after 1800 in southern Belgium, the Rhineland, northern France, and then the world. Such words or conversations or rhetoric mattered to the economy, and still do. The words enabled after 1800 a big fall in poverty and a big rise in spirit. (p. 40)

If all (or virtually all) that was necessary for the economic revolution was the adaptation of the right "words" or ideology - and the state of scientific and technological knowledge (including transportation and communication) was immaterial - why didn't the economic revolution start in Florence, or Venice, or Genoa, or Pisa after 1300, or Hamburg, or Lubeck after 1400 (or ancient Carthage, or even more ancient Tyre in the first millennium B.C.)? The ideology of these "trading" societies was incomparably closer to that of Holland in 1700 and England in 1800 (and perhaps the United States in 1900) than was the level of sixteenth century Chinese or Ottoman technology to that of Holland in 1700 or England in 1800 (or the United States in 1900).

Why was it that "the words" did not matter much at all in 1300 or 1400 or 1500, but were virtually all that mattered by 1800?

Unfortunately, McCloskey does not - and, I think, cannot - provide a convincing answer.

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Sabtu, 12 Oktober 2013

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How to Be an Imperfectionist: The New Way to Self-Acceptance, Fearless Living, and Freedom from Perfectionism, by Stephen Guise

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How to Be an Imperfectionist: The New Way to Self-Acceptance, Fearless Living, and Freedom from Perfectionism, by Stephen Guise

Imperfectionists Accomplish More with Less Stress
I remember when I aimed for perfect workouts: 30 minutes was the minimum.
I was in lousy shape.

I remember when I aimed for perfect dating: it couldn't be awkward, forced, or uncertain.
I didn't talk to women of interest.

I remember when I aimed for perfect writing: I wanted 1,000+ words of quality material per day.
I played video games instead.

I carefully avoided mistakes, endlessly ruminated about what I didn’t do, and what I did do wasn't enough.

Then, I became an imperfectionist.

Everything changed. I had fun stories to tell, like the lesbian pizza incident and the most nervous “Hi” ever spoken by a human being. I learned more. I laughed more. I lived more.

I got in great shape, read more books, and improved my social skills. I wrote Mini Habits, which became an international bestseller, and is being translated into a dozen languages.

I found I could mess up and still win.

What's the New Way to Cure Perfectionism?
The old way was to persuade people to “let go” of their need for perfection and hope they can do it.
The new way is to persuade people to take simple, but highly-strategic actions, which let them effortlessly experience the process of “letting go" of perfectionism. Over time, these behaviors become habitual and the changes last.

The old way was to tell perfectionists fight against and resist all perfectionistic thinking.
The new way is to utilize the perfectionist's current desires by redirecting them to healthier applications, resulting in more success with less stress.

The old way is based on popular but ineffective traditions of behavioral change, such as motivation-driven living, emotional manipulation, and an overall focus on the self instead of strategy.
The new way starts with a deep understanding of how emotion, motivation, fear, action, ambition, desire for comfort, desire for safety, and our insecurities interact with one another to push us to a default state of perfectionism. Which of those factors do we focus on to reverse perfectionism? Well, you've got to read the book to find out the best strategies!

What You'll Discover

  • The lesser known, but most damaging form of perfectionism almost every person has
  • A simple-to-apply�technique�to have unshakable confidence
  • Why�perfectionism hurts performance, and the�rare exception where�it helps
  • Detailed and customized�solutions for these five subsets of perfectionism:�need for approval, rumination, unrealistic expectations, concern over mistakes, and�doubts about actions
  • Fun illustrations with a powerful message to begin each chapter
  • ...and much more!

Imperfectionism Is Freedom
Perfectionism is a naturally limiting mindset. For example, kids are taught to color inside the lines, and any color outside the lines is considered a mistake that must be corrected. Imperfectionism frees us to live outside the lines, where possibilities are infinite, mistakes are allowed, and self-judgment is minimal.

While the freedom from imperfectionism is impactful, it does not preclude us from having problems. Imperfectionists aren’t so ironic as to have perfect lives, they’re just happier, healthier, and more productive at doing what matters. If that sounds good to you, take the first step into imperfectionism and start reading How To Be An Imperfectionist right now!

  • Sales Rank: #76220 in eBooks
  • Published on: 2015-05-22
  • Released on: 2015-05-22
  • Format: Kindle eBook

Review
Author Guarantee: I will never buy, trade, or otherwise ask for a favorable review. Here are some quotes from Amazon reviewers (verified purchases):

"This book deserves to become a classic."
~ Melissa Wiederrecht

"Stephen expertly interweaves the scientific research with personal experiences, trial and error, and reader stories. Most importantly, Stephen lays out numerous easy to implement strategies to combat the problem. These aren't all conceptual 'change your attitude' ideas, either. They are actionable steps that provide immediate progress."
~ Douglas

"An ingenious guide to actually making progress."
~ Jason

"This book helped to set me free!"
~ Sonia Thompson

"I just finished the book, and I can already feel a paradigm shift happening."
~ goodread21

About the Author
Stephen Guise has been writing about and researching personal growth strategies since 2004. His first book, Mini Habits, has become an international bestseller and is being translated into more than a dozen languages. Stephen enjoys minimalism, playing basketball, and exploring the world.

Most helpful customer reviews

20 of 20 people found the following review helpful.
I am as happy as a well-fed tyrannosaur in reading this book!
By Lisa R
I really only bought this book because I liked Guise's Minihabits book so much. I didn't really consider myself a perfectionist, but I discovered I could use a lot more information from this book than I expected. I also was concerned this book would have too much overlapping content from Guise's Minihabits book and blog posts, but it had a lot that I hadn't seen before.
PROS: First, the structure of this book is really clear and usable. I loved that Guise didn't waste our time with a lot of "here's how to know if you're a perfectionist" drivel and instead focused on understanding perfectionism, its causes, and its solutions. In particular, I found Guise's review of the academic literature on perfectionism to be both conscientious and valuable. It does seem true that when academics are talking about perfectionism being good, they are focusing on the aspects that aren't really a focus on perfection (like "seeking excellence" or "being organized"). Guise also does a great job simplifying the categories that the academics used and adding ones of his own when needed. Next, Guise does a great job explaining how perfectionism has to be perceived as something bad if any real progress is to be made. So long as you are secretly congratulating yourself on your "flaw" of wanting everything to be perfect, you won't understand just how pervasive the problem is or be very effective in changing it. Thirdly, Guise flummoxed me by introducing new (to me) aspects of perfectionism: insisting that the context be perfect in order for you to take action ("I'm going to speak up at the meeting at work today...no, actually, Jamie's here, and he talks too much so no one will hear me...or, oh no, it's an AFTERNOON meeting this time, well, that's a loss because I'll be too tired...or, I'm sitting right next to the boss? that's too much stress, forget it; I won't speak up.") and goal size (assuming a goal has to be a "Standard American Goal"--something other people would use as a goal, a big chunk of obvious success rather than small goals of incremental progress). I didn't think I was very perfectionistic until I read about these kinds. I can see how I've fallen into these perfectionisms time and time again, and just from reading Guise's book, I've already made a lot of progress in changing the way I think about context and goal size. This is especially important to people who liked Guise's Minihabits book, because if you are like me, you added some great minihabits, made a lot of progress, and yet still felt somehow whiny and unsatisfied because you were fixated on the external "standardized" major goal. In my case, this meant I made a lot of daily progress in writing a book, but I still felt bad because I didn't have "Publish a book" checked off my imaginary perfectionist list. Why should "publish a book" be the goal? It's too big a chunk to be focusing on right now. I just got lulled into insisting my life wasn't right until this "society-approved" goal was done, and I didn't think any smaller goals or a life of progress could count for anything.
Guise makes a lot of other great points throughout the book, but I don't have time to detail them all! :) I will say that Guise's humor is a plus.
CONS: Because this book was GREAT!, I have mostly nitpicky things to say as cons. The one thing I don't think is nitpicky is that Guise could use a broader group of examples. Nearly all his examples were about exercise, writing, and asking for dates. It is nice to write what you know, but it's also important to know your audience, and I'm sure many of Guise's readers would appreciate seeing how his concepts work for a more varied group of activities and goals (e.g. environmental goals, meetings at work, repairing a broken marriage, childrearing, saving money, investing, volunteering, apologizing, traveling, doing taxes, caring for an elderly person, being sick, getting along with difficult coworkers, etc.). Probably Guise drew from his own experience and those of his friends, but he may need to ask family members or other people of varying demographic groups (age, marital status, etc) to get ideas for more examples. That said, many readers will do fine adapting Guise's examples to their own cases without any trouble. Now for the nitpicky things: I had hoped for a discussion of perfectionism regarding OTHERS' actions, and that never really came up. If your perfectionism takes the form of insisting that others behave in a certain way, should the action steps be any different? (For example, I often let my husband do the dishes, then I obsess about the food gunk that is still on them afterward, and that makes him feel bad.) Are there any complicating features we need to be aware of? Most perfectionists I know do have a problem in interacting with others, because their own need for perfect results makes them micromanage or scold other people. Should this be handled any differently than more personal forms of perfectionism? Would it matter if the relationship is long-term or just a momentary interaction with a stranger? (e.g. "That cashier just bagged my meat with my vegetables!") Most of Guise's examples involve either no interaction with other people (e.g. exercise) or very limited response from others (e.g. you ask for a date, the other person says "yes" or "no.")
Guise also uses the phrase "sunken cost" repeatedly, which I found very awkward. I'm sure "sunken" is better grammar than "sunk cost," but I've only ever heard the phrase "sunk cost," and at some point common use wins out over formalized grammar. It really threw me off trying to read that passage smoothly. Lastly (see how nitpicky I have to be to find flaws?), Guise recommends lying down in public to get over one's fear of social disapproval and says it is harmless. In most places this is probably harmless, but where I lived before (not the U.S.), men actually did this, in order to look up women's skirts. (Often they kept a hand mirror in their pockets for when the angles weren't quite right.) Anyway, just be aware that if you do this, especially if you are male, it may not be perceived as harmless by everybody. Again, probably in most places this won't be an issue.
All in all, this was a fantastic book! The cons were really unimportant, and the pros made this book a delight. I especially appreciated Guise's humorous tone. Occasionally, it would even wax a little poetic, like when he wrote: "It's like seeing a dense fog in the woods: danger may lurk behind it, but the allure of its mystery still draws in the curious ones." Nice! I am really happy that this book was so practical and fun.

16 of 16 people found the following review helpful.
Full of great ideas and strategies
By goodread21
This book was full of advice and strategies I could really use and implement daily to improve my perfectionist tendencies! I just finished the book, and I can already feel a paradigm shift happening. I especially love how he organizes the book with the "Application Guide" at the end. All too often, I read a self help book, get excited about the ideas, but then forget what exactly I was supposed to do to make it work in my life. This book allows you to easily reference daily tips to keep these strategies working for you. I also appreciate the author's writing style. When I read it, I feel like I'm having a meaningful conversation with a friend, who is going through the same ups and downs, and trying to figure it all out... who also happens to have some amazing ideas and advice! It is even laugh out loud funny in a few places! Thank you to Stephen Guise... this book will really make a difference in my life!

10 of 10 people found the following review helpful.
This book read me
By Melissa Wiederrecht
This is a very good book..... I felt it was on the same level with "The Now Habit"... Where you feel like the author really knows what they are talking about and manages to fit important and deep insights into every single page... And read me like a book.

I had to laugh when he mentioned that a perfectionist would try to fix everything all at once with mini habits and fail. I have three times now attempted to take on about 20 mini habits at the same time... I am sure you can guess what happened. And I know I really need to do like 2-3 mini habits... But I get stuck right there since I couldn't decide which few best ones to choose! And the fear of mistakes keeps me from even just picking one and trying... What if I attempt just 1 mini habit and still fail?! Trying to please a specific person keeps me stressed 24/7. I live my life feeling like I am never enough. I go through life dreaming of the great things I can accomplish... too scared to really try anything and fall short of my dreams. THIS BOOK GETS IT. Every detail of it.

Steven has done his research... He manages to unroll the messy ball of perfectionism to allow us to observe the many different aspects and sides to it and then recommend specific and easy ways to combat each. A person who really follows his advice will probably be well onto the path to recovery. This book deserves to become a classic.

I think one of the most helpful perspectives this book offers is its emphasis of "lowering the bar" rather than psyching you up to be able to reach the high bar.

Oh, and one more thing... I thoroughly enjoy the writing style of this book. It is a joy to read.

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Senin, 07 Oktober 2013

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  • Sales Rank: #6910919 in Books
  • Published on: 1705
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